you are not what i thought you were
hello
to high and dry
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
back to square one.
"apathy and disinterest. so i guess thats it then. after being blown off for the second consecutive week, its time to take a good hard look at where things stand now. and why they feel so familiar. but lets talk about that later.
how do you think it makes someone feel when you cannot spare an hour or two for him in two entire weeks? like shite, because im not a demanding guy. i can be perfectly happy just talking to you for an hour over a simple meal because that hour is one more hour of life i knew was well spent
how do you think it feels when you take ages to reply, up to two hours and sometimes not at all, when the thing is whenever im with you and i see you smsing or tweeting people its instant? insecure. youve told me before the more you care about a person the more dao you are, but theres a line between being dao and giving off the vibe that you couldnt give less of a fuck.
and how do you think it feels knowing that this has all happened before? defeated, and wondering why i bother.
because, you know you have fun when you are with me. i make you smile, we talk about everything under the sun and i know so much about you and your personality. and the more i find the more i like.
so why is there this repeating phase when, we get close to the point where we get comfortable with each other again and we start being more honest and moving away personal barriers that we put up, and then you disappear?
like before you left
or when i came back
but the thing is i meant what i said before. you are you, and i honestly would not have it any other way, because its a component of who you are, affecting every other response and reaction you give. if you were different in this aspect, it would mean some parts if not all of the rest of you would be changed as well. which is not what i want.
but i would like you to know something, and that is the thing i look for in all the people dearest to me... i have found it in you. and to my pleasant surprise, you have something no one else has... knowing that i am full of crap, and that you see through all of it to this guy who just likes spending time with you. so perhaps thats why i react the way i do to you, and why your actions have such an effect on me.
so im not asking you to change. im just telling you, this is the way you make me feel, and sometimes it frustrates me to no end. but in the end, i know when i do get to see you, even a fleeting glimpse, its enough to reassure me that this is something i should be doing, because there is only one of you in the world, and i am nothing if not wise enough to understand some things are just worth it.
so i may not even get to have this conversation with you. god fucking knows when i will see you the next time, because thats just the way its been over the past year hasnt it? but yes if i do see you again.. which the earliest is probably a MONTH from now, ill at least know what to say. so its out of my system. and until that next time(if it happens)
goodbye, again
farewell, like the times before
and remember me, if you ever miss whatever it is you see in me
how do you think it makes someone feel when you cannot spare an hour or two for him in two entire weeks? like shite, because im not a demanding guy. i can be perfectly happy just talking to you for an hour over a simple meal because that hour is one more hour of life i knew was well spent
how do you think it feels when you take ages to reply, up to two hours and sometimes not at all, when the thing is whenever im with you and i see you smsing or tweeting people its instant? insecure. youve told me before the more you care about a person the more dao you are, but theres a line between being dao and giving off the vibe that you couldnt give less of a fuck.
and how do you think it feels knowing that this has all happened before? defeated, and wondering why i bother.
because, you know you have fun when you are with me. i make you smile, we talk about everything under the sun and i know so much about you and your personality. and the more i find the more i like.
so why is there this repeating phase when, we get close to the point where we get comfortable with each other again and we start being more honest and moving away personal barriers that we put up, and then you disappear?
like before you left
or when i came back
but the thing is i meant what i said before. you are you, and i honestly would not have it any other way, because its a component of who you are, affecting every other response and reaction you give. if you were different in this aspect, it would mean some parts if not all of the rest of you would be changed as well. which is not what i want.
but i would like you to know something, and that is the thing i look for in all the people dearest to me... i have found it in you. and to my pleasant surprise, you have something no one else has... knowing that i am full of crap, and that you see through all of it to this guy who just likes spending time with you. so perhaps thats why i react the way i do to you, and why your actions have such an effect on me.
so im not asking you to change. im just telling you, this is the way you make me feel, and sometimes it frustrates me to no end. but in the end, i know when i do get to see you, even a fleeting glimpse, its enough to reassure me that this is something i should be doing, because there is only one of you in the world, and i am nothing if not wise enough to understand some things are just worth it.
so i may not even get to have this conversation with you. god fucking knows when i will see you the next time, because thats just the way its been over the past year hasnt it? but yes if i do see you again.. which the earliest is probably a MONTH from now, ill at least know what to say. so its out of my system. and until that next time(if it happens)
goodbye, again
farewell, like the times before
and remember me, if you ever miss whatever it is you see in me
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, August 13, 2010
as a singaporean
reflecting on this country and the 21(coming to 22 soon enough) years ive lived in it, i can say that there are plenty of things wrong with it.
but when it gets things right, it gets things right.
honestly, as long as your a singaporean, whether a jaded student overseas who finds little merit in this country, or someone who just cant give a flying fuck about national day... everyone, i feel, knows and respects this song. when you hear it, you cant just keep walking on by and NOT be affected. it pulls on your heartstrings and gets you murmuring or at least humming the next few lines.
im not a patriot by any means. but i recognise the importance of something that can link every citizen of this country no matter who they are or what their doing. this song stretches across borders, be it age, religion or culture, to deliver a message that is THE founding block of SINGAPOREAN society- unity.
Eric Cartman-
"Screw YOU guys... im goin home."
but when it gets things right, it gets things right.
honestly, as long as your a singaporean, whether a jaded student overseas who finds little merit in this country, or someone who just cant give a flying fuck about national day... everyone, i feel, knows and respects this song. when you hear it, you cant just keep walking on by and NOT be affected. it pulls on your heartstrings and gets you murmuring or at least humming the next few lines.
im not a patriot by any means. but i recognise the importance of something that can link every citizen of this country no matter who they are or what their doing. this song stretches across borders, be it age, religion or culture, to deliver a message that is THE founding block of SINGAPOREAN society- unity.
Eric Cartman-
"Screw YOU guys... im goin home."
Thursday, July 22, 2010
here we go Again....
alright, this update is relatively quick compared to previous regularity. however, there are some things that i would like to talk about before I forget. forget not because they lack substance or importance, but because I'M running around SO much lately things slip my mind extremely easily.
first off, lets chat about the mosque at ground zero. and by chat I mean just read what I have to say.
for those of you who keep with up the news, they are building a large mosque two blocks away from ground zero(the place where the 9/11 attacks took place.). this obviously kicked up a lot of controversy, especially with the republicans(i.e. nut cases wearing suits) and conservatives(...).
they believe that this inflames american public sentiment due to how thousands of people were murdered by ISLAMIC terrorists. they think that building a mosque, a place of worship for MUSLIMS, so close to the scene where ISLAMIC EXTREMIST terrorists struck is a direct and stinging slap to the face of America. eight thousand protesters voiced their anger and dissidence, calling for the plans to be abolished.
I... believe that they are Wrong.
this mosque, this HOLY PLACE TO MUSLIMS, is the KEY to solving volatile relations between the Muslim community in America, and those who are blind, or simply refuse to see, that it was not ISLAMIC men who attacked their country. it was TERRORISTS. INSANE AND OUT OF CONTROL, THESE ARE NOT TRUE FOLLOWERS OF ISLAM. they are TWISTING the religion to suit their own ends. they follow a violent, warped, sadistic, MISCONSTRUED version of Islam that HAS NO PLACE IN THE WORLD.
EVERY Muslim majority country has condemned the attacks. Egypt, Turkey, Malaysia, Indonesia the list goes ON! clerics and imams everywhere have said time and time again that these terrorists are WRONG. they are MISLED into believing that the fear and pain they spread is HOLY and RIGHTEOUS. THEY ARE NOT A REPRESENTATION OF ISLAM IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY.
yet so many Americans show such astounding ignorance to that fact. they associate ISLAM with terror, with danger and bombs, with blood and irrational violence. YES, the terrorists say they are waging holy jihad in the name of their God, but THEY ARE MISGUIDED. ask an average modern Muslim if what they did on 9/11 was justified, was correct in any way. THEY WILL FLAT OUT, TELL YOU IN YOUR FACE, NO!
the people who are building the mosque, who want to help the world around them understand them better are not the same people who attacked America. they want peace and understanding, cooperation and harmony between people of different faiths. they believe in TOLERANCE. does that sound like a fucking terrorist?!?!?!
the mosque is a sign, a SYMBOL OF TOLERANCE THAT AMERICA HAS STOOD FOR FROM SO LONG AGO. it represents the Right to Practice Religion. it has no other purpose than to foster kindness and acceptance in New York. it will not be used to stage terrorist acts. it will NOT be used to signal Islamic terrorists over the world that THEY HAVE WON A BATTLE BY DESECRATING AMERICAN SOIL WITH A MOSQUE. it WILL be used to give a deeper understanding to the modern Muslim. it WILL be a focal point for discussions and as a podium for resolving intra-religious conflicts.
“What better place to teach tolerance than near the site where hate tried to kill it?”
this quote sums it all up. will American citizens wise up, and allow their fellow man, their fellow AMERICANS, to exercise their base rights? will they take the first step towards healing and understanding? or will ignorance and intolerance prove victorious, and the mosque shut down in the face of blind hate and improperly placed anger?
we will see.
Si Ying-
"Let the true story of ongsiying propel you to passing your testttt."
first off, lets chat about the mosque at ground zero. and by chat I mean just read what I have to say.
for those of you who keep with up the news, they are building a large mosque two blocks away from ground zero(the place where the 9/11 attacks took place.). this obviously kicked up a lot of controversy, especially with the republicans(i.e. nut cases wearing suits) and conservatives(...).
they believe that this inflames american public sentiment due to how thousands of people were murdered by ISLAMIC terrorists. they think that building a mosque, a place of worship for MUSLIMS, so close to the scene where ISLAMIC EXTREMIST terrorists struck is a direct and stinging slap to the face of America. eight thousand protesters voiced their anger and dissidence, calling for the plans to be abolished.
I... believe that they are Wrong.
this mosque, this HOLY PLACE TO MUSLIMS, is the KEY to solving volatile relations between the Muslim community in America, and those who are blind, or simply refuse to see, that it was not ISLAMIC men who attacked their country. it was TERRORISTS. INSANE AND OUT OF CONTROL, THESE ARE NOT TRUE FOLLOWERS OF ISLAM. they are TWISTING the religion to suit their own ends. they follow a violent, warped, sadistic, MISCONSTRUED version of Islam that HAS NO PLACE IN THE WORLD.
EVERY Muslim majority country has condemned the attacks. Egypt, Turkey, Malaysia, Indonesia the list goes ON! clerics and imams everywhere have said time and time again that these terrorists are WRONG. they are MISLED into believing that the fear and pain they spread is HOLY and RIGHTEOUS. THEY ARE NOT A REPRESENTATION OF ISLAM IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY.
yet so many Americans show such astounding ignorance to that fact. they associate ISLAM with terror, with danger and bombs, with blood and irrational violence. YES, the terrorists say they are waging holy jihad in the name of their God, but THEY ARE MISGUIDED. ask an average modern Muslim if what they did on 9/11 was justified, was correct in any way. THEY WILL FLAT OUT, TELL YOU IN YOUR FACE, NO!
the people who are building the mosque, who want to help the world around them understand them better are not the same people who attacked America. they want peace and understanding, cooperation and harmony between people of different faiths. they believe in TOLERANCE. does that sound like a fucking terrorist?!?!?!
the mosque is a sign, a SYMBOL OF TOLERANCE THAT AMERICA HAS STOOD FOR FROM SO LONG AGO. it represents the Right to Practice Religion. it has no other purpose than to foster kindness and acceptance in New York. it will not be used to stage terrorist acts. it will NOT be used to signal Islamic terrorists over the world that THEY HAVE WON A BATTLE BY DESECRATING AMERICAN SOIL WITH A MOSQUE. it WILL be used to give a deeper understanding to the modern Muslim. it WILL be a focal point for discussions and as a podium for resolving intra-religious conflicts.
“What better place to teach tolerance than near the site where hate tried to kill it?”
this quote sums it all up. will American citizens wise up, and allow their fellow man, their fellow AMERICANS, to exercise their base rights? will they take the first step towards healing and understanding? or will ignorance and intolerance prove victorious, and the mosque shut down in the face of blind hate and improperly placed anger?
we will see.
Si Ying-
"Let the true story of ongsiying propel you to passing your testttt."
Thursday, July 15, 2010
in all my spite
AS PROMISED!!!
ok that sounds a bit hollow coming from me because i have a few projects as of yet unfinished. like the adam occult story. BUT! here are the photos from tri uni camp! enjoy and share in the good times friends!
the whole og in front of an atm in heren, during our amazing race
nom nom nom!
in the mrt! just one of dozens of stops
ima so proud we found it!!!
photo formation. ill spare you the chinese chant which accompanies it.
ah what the heck.
我想要看我的脸!!!我想要看我的脸!!!我想要看我的脸!!!
ahem.
sheryl, elijah, yours truly and si ying
fun in the sun, pebbles at sentosa
i think its time for a haircut...
the guys! from left to right is lu yang, wei lun, elijah, rei hong, the most handsome of the bunch, raymond our awesome ogl, li bin and jing cong
si ying, sheryl and myself. after a long hard day of running around
post sentosa. weary, but still looking up
eh im like the palest there. HAHAHAHAHA WTF i just noticed. -_-
took us close to one hour to finish this task, hunting down two girls wearing specific bags in plaza singapura.
my lustrous locks getting in the way of slurping up some drink
me and jacinder playing seven points of heaven.
teh whole og!
in this picture, jing cong is wearing MY acjc shirt because he didnt have one of his own. must return!!!!!!1
alright thats about it. but before i go, just some things id like to mention.
firstly, that facebook DOES have its uses, i easily plucked all the photos from our og page. i never said it was completely without merit...
and that i think its high time for me to find a serious girlfriend. university is starting soon and ill get my chances to find a nice sweet girl, but maybe i should start looking now, you know, just to cover all my bases. i believe in hints and subtle pushes in life that guide you along, and ive been receiving quite a few of those lately. but at the same time, i need to take everything with a pinch of salt. only fools rush in, as a great man once said.
ok that about wraps it up! tomorrow is jeromes birthday event, which im looking forward to. ill try on a new shirt, WHICH IS SMALL AND I CAN WEAR TO GOOD EFFECT HAHA SMALL WOOT WOOT, and see if it goes well with my overall new look. that is jackets and blazers with everything. ive been told many a time ive got a mature vibe going on, so id like to complement that with keeping it sharp and sophisticated. mmmm.
alright later yall
Paramore-
"find perfection in my pride"
ok that sounds a bit hollow coming from me because i have a few projects as of yet unfinished. like the adam occult story. BUT! here are the photos from tri uni camp! enjoy and share in the good times friends!
the whole og in front of an atm in heren, during our amazing race
nom nom nom!
in the mrt! just one of dozens of stops
ima so proud we found it!!!
photo formation. ill spare you the chinese chant which accompanies it.
ah what the heck.
我想要看我的脸!!!我想要看我的脸!!!我想要看我的脸!!!
ahem.
sheryl, elijah, yours truly and si ying
fun in the sun, pebbles at sentosa
i think its time for a haircut...
the guys! from left to right is lu yang, wei lun, elijah, rei hong, the most handsome of the bunch, raymond our awesome ogl, li bin and jing cong
si ying, sheryl and myself. after a long hard day of running around
post sentosa. weary, but still looking up
eh im like the palest there. HAHAHAHAHA WTF i just noticed. -_-
took us close to one hour to finish this task, hunting down two girls wearing specific bags in plaza singapura.
my lustrous locks getting in the way of slurping up some drink
me and jacinder playing seven points of heaven.
teh whole og!
in this picture, jing cong is wearing MY acjc shirt because he didnt have one of his own. must return!!!!!!1
alright thats about it. but before i go, just some things id like to mention.
firstly, that facebook DOES have its uses, i easily plucked all the photos from our og page. i never said it was completely without merit...
and that i think its high time for me to find a serious girlfriend. university is starting soon and ill get my chances to find a nice sweet girl, but maybe i should start looking now, you know, just to cover all my bases. i believe in hints and subtle pushes in life that guide you along, and ive been receiving quite a few of those lately. but at the same time, i need to take everything with a pinch of salt. only fools rush in, as a great man once said.
ok that about wraps it up! tomorrow is jeromes birthday event, which im looking forward to. ill try on a new shirt, WHICH IS SMALL AND I CAN WEAR TO GOOD EFFECT HAHA SMALL WOOT WOOT, and see if it goes well with my overall new look. that is jackets and blazers with everything. ive been told many a time ive got a mature vibe going on, so id like to complement that with keeping it sharp and sophisticated. mmmm.
alright later yall
Paramore-
"find perfection in my pride"
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