as a singaporean

reflecting on this country and the 21(coming to 22 soon enough) years ive lived in it, i can say that there are plenty of things wrong with it.

but when it gets things right, it gets things right.



honestly, as long as your a singaporean, whether a jaded student overseas who finds little merit in this country, or someone who just cant give a flying fuck about national day... everyone, i feel, knows and respects this song. when you hear it, you cant just keep walking on by and NOT be affected. it pulls on your heartstrings and gets you murmuring or at least humming the next few lines.

im not a patriot by any means. but i recognise the importance of something that can link every citizen of this country no matter who they are or what their doing. this song stretches across borders, be it age, religion or culture, to deliver a message that is THE founding block of SINGAPOREAN society- unity.

Eric Cartman-
"Screw YOU guys... im goin home."

here we go Again....

alright, this update is relatively quick compared to previous regularity. however, there are some things that i would like to talk about before I forget. forget not because they lack substance or importance, but because I'M running around SO much lately things slip my mind extremely easily.

first off, lets chat about the mosque at ground zero. and by chat I mean just read what I have to say.

for those of you who keep with up the news, they are building a large mosque two blocks away from ground zero(the place where the 9/11 attacks took place.). this obviously kicked up a lot of controversy, especially with the republicans(i.e. nut cases wearing suits) and conservatives(...).

they believe that this inflames american public sentiment due to how thousands of people were murdered by ISLAMIC terrorists. they think that building a mosque, a place of worship for MUSLIMS, so close to the scene where ISLAMIC EXTREMIST terrorists struck is a direct and stinging slap to the face of America. eight thousand protesters voiced their anger and dissidence, calling for the plans to be abolished.

I... believe that they are Wrong.

this mosque, this HOLY PLACE TO MUSLIMS, is the KEY to solving volatile relations between the Muslim community in America, and those who are blind, or simply refuse to see, that it was not ISLAMIC men who attacked their country. it was TERRORISTS. INSANE AND OUT OF CONTROL, THESE ARE NOT TRUE FOLLOWERS OF ISLAM. they are TWISTING the religion to suit their own ends. they follow a violent, warped, sadistic, MISCONSTRUED version of Islam that HAS NO PLACE IN THE WORLD.

EVERY Muslim majority country has condemned the attacks. Egypt, Turkey, Malaysia, Indonesia the list goes ON! clerics and imams everywhere have said time and time again that these terrorists are WRONG. they are MISLED into believing that the fear and pain they spread is HOLY and RIGHTEOUS. THEY ARE NOT A REPRESENTATION OF ISLAM IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY.

yet so many Americans show such astounding ignorance to that fact. they associate ISLAM with terror, with danger and bombs, with blood and irrational violence. YES, the terrorists say they are waging holy jihad in the name of their God, but THEY ARE MISGUIDED. ask an average modern Muslim if what they did on 9/11 was justified, was correct in any way. THEY WILL FLAT OUT, TELL YOU IN YOUR FACE, NO!

the people who are building the mosque, who want to help the world around them understand them better are not the same people who attacked America. they want peace and understanding, cooperation and harmony between people of different faiths. they believe in TOLERANCE. does that sound like a fucking terrorist?!?!?!

the mosque is a sign, a SYMBOL OF TOLERANCE THAT AMERICA HAS STOOD FOR FROM SO LONG AGO. it represents the Right to Practice Religion. it has no other purpose than to foster kindness and acceptance in New York. it will not be used to stage terrorist acts. it will NOT be used to signal Islamic terrorists over the world that THEY HAVE WON A BATTLE BY DESECRATING AMERICAN SOIL WITH A MOSQUE. it WILL be used to give a deeper understanding to the modern Muslim. it WILL be a focal point for discussions and as a podium for resolving intra-religious conflicts.

“What better place to teach tolerance than near the site where hate tried to kill it?”

this quote sums it all up. will American citizens wise up, and allow their fellow man, their fellow AMERICANS, to exercise their base rights? will they take the first step towards healing and understanding? or will ignorance and intolerance prove victorious, and the mosque shut down in the face of blind hate and improperly placed anger?

we will see.

Si Ying-
"Let the true story of ongsiying propel you to passing your testttt."

in all my spite

AS PROMISED!!!

ok that sounds a bit hollow coming from me because i have a few projects as of yet unfinished. like the adam occult story. BUT! here are the photos from tri uni camp! enjoy and share in the good times friends!

the whole og in front of an atm in heren, during our amazing race


nom nom nom!


in the mrt! just one of dozens of stops


ima so proud we found it!!!


photo formation. ill spare you the chinese chant which accompanies it.




























ah what the heck.

我想要看我的脸!!!我想要看我的脸!!!我想要看我的脸!!!

ahem.

sheryl, elijah, yours truly and si ying


fun in the sun, pebbles at sentosa


i think its time for a haircut...



the guys! from left to right is lu yang, wei lun, elijah, rei hong, the most handsome of the bunch, raymond our awesome ogl, li bin and jing cong


si ying, sheryl and myself. after a long hard day of running around


post sentosa. weary, but still looking up


eh im like the palest there. HAHAHAHAHA WTF i just noticed. -_-


took us close to one hour to finish this task, hunting down two girls wearing specific bags in plaza singapura.


my lustrous locks getting in the way of slurping up some drink


me and jacinder playing seven points of heaven.



teh whole og!


in this picture, jing cong is wearing MY acjc shirt because he didnt have one of his own. must return!!!!!!1


alright thats about it. but before i go, just some things id like to mention.

firstly, that facebook DOES have its uses, i easily plucked all the photos from our og page. i never said it was completely without merit...

and that i think its high time for me to find a serious girlfriend. university is starting soon and ill get my chances to find a nice sweet girl, but maybe i should start looking now, you know, just to cover all my bases. i believe in hints and subtle pushes in life that guide you along, and ive been receiving quite a few of those lately. but at the same time, i need to take everything with a pinch of salt. only fools rush in, as a great man once said.

ok that about wraps it up! tomorrow is jeromes birthday event, which im looking forward to. ill try on a new shirt, WHICH IS SMALL AND I CAN WEAR TO GOOD EFFECT HAHA SMALL WOOT WOOT, and see if it goes well with my overall new look. that is jackets and blazers with everything. ive been told many a time ive got a mature vibe going on, so id like to complement that with keeping it sharp and sophisticated. mmmm.

alright later yall

Paramore-
"find perfection in my pride"

WOW ZOMG WTF RAEALLY?!?!

its been TOO LONG since the last update! mainly because ive been extremely busy with uni stuff driving and friends. basically, im more swamped than ever with admin issues and organisational hiccups popping up here and there. still, a lot of good came since i last posted.

for starters, driving lessons are coming to a head soon. hopefully by the end of this month i will have a nice drivers license and can motor around in my moms cool mercedes!

shuns overseas in korea, hope she returns safe and sound. shes probably having the time of her life but shun if you do drop by this blog and are reading this right now: HI SHUNSTER! VERY BORING WITHOUT YOU HERE FADGER COME BACK!!! oh yeah and buy me something nice : D

alright lets talk tri uni camp! which was a ton of fun. although my old injuries acted up and caused me to miss one day of camp, i still enjoyed myself very thoroughly. heres a few pros and cons.

Pros:
met many new people, fun loving like me

got to do stupid stuff and not feel embarrassed

lots of nice memories

reaffirmed friendships with some old friends, especially marcus and shawn

Cons:
the ntu ratio was very high, and it was influenced the camp quite blatantly sometimes. dont get me wrong im not in any way lambasting the uni. its just that because of the way i was brought up, im a bit of an ang moh pai. thus, some of the more cheena aspects of the people around me can rub me raw.

my special partner was a turn off. not because she was ugly or boring, but because our backgrounds and mindsets were so different we couldnt really connect very well.

lack of sleep because of the world cup

didnt meet that many new people from nus, which was my main goal going into the camp

overall though, the fun stuff far outweighed the drag downs, no question. stay tuned for pictures and videos, which i may have to pull off, ugh, facebook.

ok finally, jeromes birthday party!

what can i say we are getting too old for this shit.

dinner was fun though clubbing was... meh. obviously good things came out of the night, very special moments, both comedic and nostalgic.

burning each other over good food at brewerkz

doing ridiculous things during drinking games at butter factory.
EH JEROME YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW YOUR GAY. WHO THE FUCK ASKS ANOTHER GUY TO LICK SALT OFF YOUR OWN NECK?!?!1 WHAT THE FLAMING FUCK RIGHT?!?!?!

charissa spazzing out in front of a window
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
now she has a 'moment' too! join the club...

and the Good times

talked to yanni and, despite the overbearing volume of the music, managed to actually be in depth and sincere.

meeting my cousin wei wei!!!

ok that wraps it up for now. too tired for anything meaty. later yall

Simpsons Girls-
"fly kite fly kite!"

splotch!

ok here you go. its a lazy sunday afternoon, as reflected in my lack of enthusiasm in the captions for the following videos and pictures

after snorkelling, we visited this wildlife conservation area.



their famous roast pig. which is, at best, passable.



reflections



first and last morning video from now on.



boat ride.



boat ride to our para sailing adventure.



turtles!



2nd day



3rd day



lunch overlooking the beach



final thoughts.






ok thats about it. later yall

Lau-
"Magnet for Bullets."

im having a bomb! wait no thats not right...

greetings from bali friends! im having a great time right now and everything i experience will be vividly depicted in photos and videos when i get back home. in the mean time, whenever i have free time be assured that i do use it for working on the adam occult story. this environment is a remarkable source for healthy inspiration, the images and feelings evoked here really gets those creative juices flowing. in the mean time, heres a haiku!

celestial beauty
cloudes in a lava filled sky
a shrouded sunset

Archon-
"Power Overwhelming"

im stagnant with your brain child

ok just some explaining as to why all the dramatic changes to the blog.

firstly, template got reworked because embedded videos were not showing up properly.

colour because one mistake with my old blog is that it lacked presentation. this will be easier on the eyes and more user friendly overall.

also, purple is the new sexy. please retain your homophobic sentiments.

William Shakespeare-
"Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them."

why stop a flood when you can ride the wave

ok i just saw paramores new video. check it out.



man, that was cool! though i really really wish theyd put more clips of the singapore performance in it. show us more love paramore! thrilla in manila? how about furore in singapore!!!!!!




...

that was the best i could come up with.

God-
"Go Forth And Multiply"

short story time!

Part 1

the alley i was in was not looking too inviting. located in a bad part of town, it was darker and filthier than the vice laden street it cut out from. graffiti and cracks covered the walls, looking for all the world like the parched, bleeding lips of a plague victim. inside, i could barely make out upended trash cans and a large pool of what i hoped was water. the smell was near intolerable, beyond description. the vermin that took sustenance from societal neglect scurried away as i took a deep breath and stepped forward, taking great care to hop around and over anything that weirdly stuck out of the ground.

fifteen minutes ago i had just got home from the office and found a message waiting for me. it was from a dealer i used to frequent, a guy named Rocco. he also sometimes acts as an anonymous source if i needed to know anything about the going ons in the underbelly of the upper west side. he only helps me out because i told him about an investigative reporter in my department who was poking around on his turf, pretending to be a buyer so he could expose the lack of police enforcement in the area. he was grateful, so grateful that he bought me a rolex with the money he got selling the reporters clothes and valuables.

you might think my work ethic is questionable. selling out a colleague, a fellow journalist who was just doing his job, to some scum bag drug dealer. three things i always keep in mind when the question of morality pops up.

one, do unto others quick, before they can do unto me.

two, do anything for a story.

and three, don't mess with the men with the guns.

it was point number two that led me here after i listened to Rocco's message. it was short and ended abruptly.

"I found Occult."

Part 2

slithering between two big crates, I found myself at the front of a large structure. it was aged, the paint peeling off the concrete and holes in the roof where pieces of wood stuck out at strange, warped angles. its windows were all bashed in as well; the jagged glass was pale in the dark.

edging closer to the foreboding building, I couldn't help but notice the total lack of sound. like a huge cloth had descended over the world, the quiet pressed down so hard it was near tangible. this was curious, bordering on the bizarre. on any good night, promised-filled cat calls of street walkers and obnoxious squawks of road vendors would permeate the surroundings, the cacophony loudened by over zealous arguments and disagreements descending into violence around almost every corner.

then it occurred to me. this was a side of the city I had never seen, not once in my thirty years living here. it was a place I wasn't even aware existed. not even knowing, I had slipped down a path which led me away from the comfort of familiar territory and into a neighbourhood which I could sum up in only one word: ghostly. I walked feeling vulnerable and afraid. forsaken by both bright fluorescents of haven and dim neon of perdition, so absolute was the desolation felt here that it was as if I was in limbo.

normally, my work took me all over the city, where no place was barred to me. as far as I was concerned, no story was beyond the reach of an eager and hard working journalist. then, by complete accident, I stumbled upon the trail of Adam Occult. however, the word 'trail' hardly did what I uncovered justice.

see, I was leafing through past articles looking for inspiration, when I came upon a brief five liner about a man who was acquitted of first degree homicide a few years ago. now, usually I wouldn't give a rats ass about such a mediocre piece, but what caught my eye was that the man's name was... blurred out. as if someone had spilled ink onto the page, his name was faded and the letters ran into each other making it totally ineligible. more curious though, was that the rest of the newspaper was perfectly fine. it was just those two words.

i thought ah its probably just a bad print, and continued my research.

but I came across it again two months before, when the man was first apprehended for the murder charge. this time, the article was a bit larger, occupying a full half page. but once more, every time the man's name came up, it was unreadable. i couldn't believe it! no way this was a coincidence. checking with my editor and printing staff, i was told these blots were made AFTER the papers were printed. that means that someone had purposely sneaked into the records room and blurred out the one name! every time!

this was something I should pursue, I thought. someone in the department was fooling around and i felt an urge to find out who and why. the first step was to get the name of this mysterious person who escaped the murder charge. so I began going about asking for documents concerning the guy from the police and the courthouse.

now this is where it gets spooky. all the papers, arrest warrants, police statements, clerk recordings, EVERYTHING... omitted the man's name. in the exact same manner as with the newspaper articles! two words, unassumingly blending into each other and into ambiguity. it nearly drove me crazy.

then I got a lucky break. an old police friend who handed me the papers regarding the case was actually there the night they brought the guy in. he called me and after exchanging pleasantries, we got down to business.

"come on James tell me you remember the name! I'm going up the wall on this."

"yeah OK this happened a while ago, but somehow I can still recall the name. it was weird it was, and it stuck with me ever since the first time I heard it. No reason why it did though, I can barely remember where I went last weekend I'm so old-"

"James!"

"OK OK. the name you want... its Adam Occult."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

not done yet! stay tuned for the rest of the story, which will come a lot sooner since I got the whole thing planned out. take a chill pill and later yall!

Alice-
"What is the use of a book, without pictures or conversations?"

time for procrastination

whoa TWO weeks since the last post! amazing how time flies fast when you keep yourself occupied. ive been doing so with daily trips to bukit batok for my driving lessons. and its a HUGE drain on my stamina. i mean, every day i gotta travel for around two hours to get there, learn new stuff for an hour and forty minutes, then make my way back home the way i came. i was so pooped by the end of the week that yesterday afternoon after my lesson i crashed at FOUR PM in the afternoon and slept all the way until SEVEN AM this morning!

little wonder why i cant keep up with writing stuff and putting it up here.

anyway nothing much has happened this week...

except that ive gone through a wee emotional enigma.

see, theres this friend who let me down recently. and usually id be pretty miffed, angry even. but instead of outright indignation i felt profound disappointment. i reminded this friend and even said that her forgetting has happened before, so please remember this time. smile, shrug, promise i will.

why does it come as no surprise when she misses yet again? is it because ive actually come to associate being let down and ignored when it comes to this person? i mean, part of me actually KNEW it was coming. but oh well, thats me being too optimistic again i guess...

hrmph. i suppose friends are friends, and its not about overlooking their flaws, but enjoying their strengths. good thing shes loaded with em.

i will write something nice for my next post. probably a story, its been way too long since ive did one of them!

Alaric-
"typical heartlander."

dreams, and why they are better than life

so interestingly enough, i had a dream today about this friend who i used to talk to. and this dream was pretty vivid, how wed meet up again(completely by chance) and what wed do when we were going out. its totally abstract and not altogether believable, but it was a good dream. you know, the kind that leaves a warm fuzzy feeling behind hours after you wake up. the mind is one mysterious place, so its hard to believe the dream either way. instead, ill test fate and say: krystle, if you see this, give me a call. id like to buy you dinner sometime.

ive learned the hard way that friends are hard to come by, but much too easy to lose.

wholeheartedly,
han.

Lau-
"id die without regret knowing my friends will remember my name."

hi di hi di hi di hi di hi di hi di hi!

once i was a soldier
boots and gun and all
now im free and i assure you sir im gonna have a ball!
but isnt life funny
just a cruel joke
my single life is long and its free from girls and love

oh HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI!

theres this bar i go to
cheap and nice and cool
but just the moment now i feel like a tool
see theres this cutie
who always caught my eye
little did i know shes seeing another guy!

OH HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI

now im feeling down
a total fuckin tard
then i think a while and thank my lucky stars
see ive got my buddies
pints of guiness too
who needs a girlfriend when you live the way i do!

OH HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HI!
OH HI DI HI DI HI DI HI DI HIII DEEEE HII DEEE HIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Xin Wei-
"we look so stabbable"

que pasa amigo

well, ima just cut to the chase because, really, im in no mood for blogging. its a fuckin hot day with barely any wind and i just spent the last hour and a half travelling home from bukit batok driving centre. its really that far by public transport, almost as bad as my time at tuas naval base.

many of you know ive finally begun hardcore driving lessons to get my license before matriculation in august(or september, well see how the yog plays out). but recently ive been hitting some snags. see, ive got my practical lessons all planned out and my final theory test in a month. unfortunately, this morning was the second time ive failed my final theory evaluation.

now this seems a bit ludicrous, especially so to me, and im obviously very frustrated. i can pass on the stupid practice booklets(actually, their pretty useful to be honest... but still.) with ease, but the bloody evaluation itself throws all kinds of weird questions at me. i didnt make it by a slim margin, just two questions wrong over the limit. im peeved.

however, i guess its not so bad. it prepares me for the final theory test and what it expects of me, and if i DID fail that then id be forced to book four more practice sessions and ANOTHER evaluation(which i find a bit much.). so not really that much of a biggie, just have to book another evaluation soon.

right, last friday i watched kick ass with jerome and xin wei. it was a good movie, but it stirred up some controversy. and the funny thing is most of it was not centered around how hit girl, an 11 year old purple wig wearing kid, was slicing up people with wild abandon. instead, critics complained about her foul use of language. specifically, the gratuitous use of the word cunt.

now to dispel the ravings of tight asses all over the world, it was revealed that the tiny actress did not in fact SAY any of those lines. it was clever voiceover work done by other, older people, in light of her innocent nature. so crisis averted. but this brings me to my next topic of discussion on speech in america.

south park episode 201 has been heavily censored, and in the united kingdoms not even aired, due to its showing of the prophet Muhammad. receiving threats from a radical islamic group, comedy central bleeped out the images of the holy figure, and even BLEEPED OUT ANY UTTERING OF THE M WORD.

ZOMG WHATS THE WORLD COMING TO.

we can say jesus and buddha, but to say muhammad is equal to having a bullseye painted on your back? what? south park was NOT insulting the islamic religion at all! its satire was directed at EXACTLY what comedy central is guilty of: overreaction and irrational fears over islam. as is most of the modern world today.

the episode was made to laugh at ourselves about, whether we openly admit it or not, the prejudice so many people feel when discussing the muslim faith. instead of a joke however, it turned volatile and exploded due to its own subject matter. preposterous.

furthermore,
*THE FOLLOWING IS CENSORED DUE TO ITS SENSITIVE RELIGIOUS NATURE. THE AUTHOR HAS BEEN REPRIMANDED AND IS CURRENTLY UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR HIS REMARKS. IF FOUND GUILTY OF TALKING ABOUT ISLAM WITHOUT GENEROUS USE OF BLEEPS, HE WILL BE PROSECUTED.*

Lau-
"someone tell my mom to bail me out pls."

bombs and what not

ok its been a pretty long time since the last time i put something up here, mostly because ive been running around a lot a night the past week, and thats usually when i write stuff. but in retrospect i suppose i should have put away some time, like an hour or so, just to blog more. i mean after all this is probably the only thing that ill have in a few years or so to remind me of the good and bad times. important, ill say.

so quick wrap up of the past week.

visited oriordans a lot! monday was with jerome and xin wei, wednesday was with kevin and friday was with chris, ian and reuben. seems a bit over the top right, but i view that quaint little irish pub as a place to chill and talk, much like an average person sees a starbucks. plus, the food aint bad. its a nice place to enjoy yourself really.

oh yeah and after drinking on friday went to udders for some ice cream. not too good in my opinion, there are places where it goes for cheaper and tastes better.

anyway the weekend passed slowly, didnt get up to much. more or less just lazed around. today was different though, the physio in the morning was brutal. its been hours and my legs are still shaky. but i guess the traninings good for me so ive no complaints.

anyway id like to give my opinion on some current affairs matters. not only because its educational reading up on these things, but also i feel that by voicing my concerns any one reading can add yet another angle to any future conversations on said mattters.

first off, malaysia. they have a stagnating economy, head scratching politics and even discord among royal persons. my position on them is pretty clear. and yet, its not their panaroia that singapore is perpetually out to get the on up on them(see half causeway, half rotating bridge idea and negotiations involving the malaysian railway tracks in singapore) that irks me. its that their policies are in such a way geared that advancement is rare, and when present, miniscule. im talking of course, about the pro malay stance that their governments insists on.

most prominent in south east asia(take a look at indonesia and phillipines), id say that these policies are if anything racist. you keep the chinese, indians and other minorities down by providing the majority race with vast economical, social and political benefits. its not based on meritocracy, which i believe every first world country needs to progress. look at singapore. or even better, look at america! they have a black president now! sure there are ministers in malaysia that are chinese, but please.

its apparent that the malay malaysians are so afraid to lose their benefits simply because they either a) fear actual, even competition. or b) know in the back of their minds that they cannot compete, and thus cling to these advantages for standing in society.

the second topic is going to be about the recent hotbed of activity churned up by polytechnic students and their level of involvement in local universities.

its fucking simple really.

you want your kid to go university? send them to a jc. poly students who work super super super hard do deserve a spot, no arguements there. but the stigma in singapore is that jc students have it way easier to get into universities. your decision three years ago to get your kid a diploma, or your childs insufficient o level results is coming back to haunt you. second chances ARE hard to come by, so its only fitting that you work hard for them.

mmmkay thats it for now. im actually writing this in the middle of a scrim against a thailand team, so before my teammates start yelling id better get back to them. later yall.

Peter-
"i gotta get some fucking friends"

say hello to admin lau

hello hello hope youve all had an exciting weekend! i had myself a fine time over the past couple of days, starting with the l4d2 meetup at plaza singapura on saturday afternoon!

this is a different group of l4d2 friends from last time, these people i met while playing campaign games. they are pretty cool, and i had an awesome time hanging out with them. after coffee and tea(and a few suggestions for me), we decided to head to the nearest lan shop to display our skillz dat killz. finishing off some noobs, we visited pastamania for dinner. i have to say, uncle wheelocks homemade vongole is probably the best ive had so far.

alright, today i was officially made an admin of the l4d2 team pdm server!!!! wooohoo! yay! sponsored by sg war games, it acts as our training grounds for tournaments and friendlies against other countries. this is a big deal because like any good team which takes part in competitions, we need sponsors to fund proper equipment and a viable practice environment. think of it of as... well, sg wargames is nike and im lebron james. : D

mmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm.

Lau-
"im gonna test my admin kicking powers on you noob."

thank you, south park

validation is awesome. this is how retarded you are. :)

http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/267112/

Cartman Robot-
"MERGER"

you cant log off in real life.

wait... no i didnt mean it that way...

so another weeks passed, lotsa stuff going on. quick round up before we get to the matter at hand.

drinks with friends on friday at the marina mandarin. very cool change of pace, very refreshing. i wouldnt mind going back for another round. and i got to try a black russian, which i was interested in ever since seeing the big lebowski. jeff bridges should be a chivas girl, seriously.

on sunday, went to the gym and later to watch clash of the titans with jerome. for a movie that took thirty years to remake, its an epic fail. twisted storyline, laughable scenes and atrocious, absolutely vomit-inducing acting. especially by sam worthington. on the flipside, saw my old polo captain xi zheng. nice meeting him again, brings back memories.

yesterday i went to nus to get my physical done. i have to say, the administration there needs a serious revamp. i got there at one thirty and only left at four. it was crazy, i thought the whole thing would be over quick when i got past the vision check, urine screening and x rays in a heartbeat.

then they made me wait for close to an hour and a half just to see a doctor. THERES ONLY SO LONG I CAN SIT ON A CHAIR AND TWIDDLE MY THUMBS BEFORE GETTING WORKED UP. what made it even MORE infuriating was that i saw people who had come in after me actually getting their checkup done BEFORE me. i walked over to the counter to vent MAH RAGE when all of a sudden DING!

my number came up for room two. i was like ok... whatever lets just get this done and go. the checkup took a whole of, i kid you not, four minutes. one and a half hours for a four minute checkup. -_-

anyway.

id like to highlight some good stuff to watch on youtube! theres plenty of videos and stuff, but here are my favorite channels and most enjoyed series. good for people with, i dunno, generic iphones and what not to watch if they ever get bored transiting from one place to another. using public transport of course, not wise to watch and drive.

this is nevakes channel. he posts mostly starcraft matches, but what really caught my eye recently was the korean shows he subbed in english. one of them has a member of a popular idol group over there trying to become a progamer(hyungjoon becomes a progamer), and the other has an old timer coming out of retirement to try his hand at progaming once more(nal_ra old boy).

http://www.youtube.com/user/nevake

heres one i found just a couple of days ago called the guild. its a hilarious fictional depiction of a group of misfits playing an mmorpg, showing how they interact with each other and deal with unlikely scenarios in real life. for example, one scene has an indian gamer fighting a chinese stuntman to defend his honour.

http://www.youtube.com/user/watchtheguild

oh as an avid l4d2 player, i was pleasantly surprised when i came across this poster. this guy and his group of motley friends made super funny videos, but to make more sense of it try starting from the beginning. he puts up other game videos too, but really the l4d2 ones really stand out. always good for a quick chuckle.

http://www.youtube.com/user/kilplixism

alright finally, this is the young turks. its a channel focused on reporting the news(but also sometimes does interviews) in america, but adds personal insight and a voice for public opinion such that it entertains and informs at the same time. very useful to learn not only about stuff going on in congress(such as deeper understanding about health reform) but also about other matters in america making headlines. for example, they did a piece on the cheerleader who claimed that a flu vaccine caused her to develop a severe psychological disorder, but later seemed to "miraculously" recover. interesting stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/user/theyoungturks?blend=1&ob=4

righto. time for an early bed, tomorrow ive got physiotherapy again, which also tires me out. good night friends!

darksydephil-
"oh i did that in the demo too!"

HC SVNT DRACONES

so i just got back from drinks with chris at crown. he got into a cab heading his way and i was waiting for my cab. i notice this bunch of people hanging around at the bus stop up ahead, looked like youths. three of em get on a bus and headed off, leaving this one guy and his girlfriend. didnt think much of it.

then they tried to flag a taxi right in front of me i.e. steal my fucking cab.

i was pissed, and rightly so. id been standing there for fifteen minutes and these idiots try to take my ride home like its their god given right. so blatant somemore, not fifteen metres before me. no bloody shame. i was ready to do something id probably regret later, the drinks i had not helping things. but then surprise surprise, the cab pulled up for ME.

im tired, and im looking forward to my comfy room with my comfy bed. no reason to aggravate the situation. but really, how could i resist?

i flipped them off before jumping in.

HA.

ass holes.

anyway, id like to talk about punctuality real quick, because although i touched on it in my last blog, id like to put it into perspective.

being on time is being polite. its common courtesy to not let people wait for you.

being late is being rude. thats why we say sorry if wer late and explain why we couldnt make it on time.

when your going to a business meeting, having lunch with your clients or attending an appointment with your boss, you cant be late. thats because you need to show them respect, or your clients will abandon you, your boss will fire the fuck outta you and you give the impression you cant give two shits about anyone else.

keeping this in mind, isnt it impractical to assume that its ok to be late when meeting friends. you gonna show them less respect than your clients, your boss? if anything you should hold them in higher esteem. common sense, HEEEELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

whatever, time for bed. later yall

Lau-
"IMA COMIN BUDDY!"

no shit! really?

the following is an excerpt of an online conversation between me and kev. its quite worrying that people think this way, ill comment on it next time. for now just read.


7:07 PM - Kev: doesnt seem like disrespect to me
7:07 PM - Kev: seems like the norm
7:07 PM - Kev: when i meet my barker group for movies or whatever its been always like that
7:08 PM - Kev: parties dont start so early anyway

7:09 PM - lau: ill agree with you on the party thing definitely
7:09 PM - lau: but going back to before
7:10 PM - lau: if you ask your barker guys hey the movie starts at 7 pls be there by 630
7:10 PM - lau: theyll get there at 830
7:10 PM - lau: and miss 3/4 of the movie?

7:11 PM - Kev: we dont book the tickets until we all meet

7:11 PM - lau: so instead of a 7 movie when everyone arrives at 830 then you book the tickets for a later movie?

7:11 PM - Kev: we dont get the tickets until we all meet

7:12 PM - lau: yeah you just said that
7:12 PM - lau: so you get the tickets for a later movie instead of the one you planned to watch because all of you are late?

7:13 PM - Kev: when we reach we see whats avaliable
7:13 PM - Kev: if nothings avaliable we go drink or club

7:14 PM - lau: interesting
7:14 PM - lau: so basically
7:15 PM - lau: even if you told them look i gotta leave by this time so can we meet 2 hours before

7:15 PM - Kev: enough questions for now man
7:15 PM - Kev: getting boring

7:15 PM - lau: all of you will arrive at the time you need to go

7:18 PM - Kev: to answer the last question of this interview then just meet 2 hours ealier
7:18 PM - Kev: thought that one was obvious

7:20 PM - lau: it didnt occur to me, im the kinda person who if can help it will never be late
7:20 PM - lau: i see things very very differently

7:20 PM - Kev: u see alot of weird things
7:20 PM - Kev: like a mad genius

7:21 PM - lau: being on time is weird now?!?!
7:21 PM - lau: im getting really confused

7:21 PM - Kev: i'm not critising u
7:21 PM - Kev: i'm just saying u see alot of weird things in things
7:21 PM - Kev: like a mad genius

7:21 PM - lau: yeah i know im funny that way

7:21 PM - Kev: dont know if thats funny

7:22 PM - lau: its hilarious
7:22 PM - lau: like heath ledger kinda hilarious
7:22 PM - lau: joker shit

7:22 PM - Kev: i dont think so

7:22 PM - lau: as long as you dont take this mentality with you later in life i guess its alright as long as its just barker boys
7:22 PM - lau: girlfriend not so much
7:22 PM - lau: big flaw

7:23 PM - Kev: depends on the people i'm meeting

7:23 PM - lau: whoa
7:23 PM - lau: i just saw a link
7:23 PM - lau: the closer you are to the person
7:23 PM - lau: the later you can be

7:23 PM - Kev: LOl

7:23 PM - lau: zomg
7:23 PM - lau: I AM A MAD GENIUS

7:23 PM - Kev: no la

7:23 PM - lau: HHAHHHAAA

7:23 PM - Kev: i didnt mean it like that

7:23 PM - lau: are u late for driving?

7:24 PM - Kev: yeah i was abit late today
7:24 PM - Kev: lunch came late

7:24 PM - lau: but only 10 15 min right

7:24 PM - Kev: yeah

7:24 PM - lau: cannot be an hour otherwise the thing gets cancelled

7:24 PM - Kev: i missed the last one though

7:24 PM - lau: thats cause you blanked on it
7:24 PM - lau: -_-

7:25 PM - Kev: damm boring
7:26 PM - Kev: play some l4d2?

7:26 PM - lau: ive got dinner in five minutes man
7:26 PM - lau: what time are u getting back
7:26 PM - lau: i think joyce and chris are gonna game

7:26 PM - Kev: i dont know i dont plan
7:26 PM - Kev: whatever time it s over
7:26 PM - Kev: i've got nothing on tmr
7:27 PM - Kev: are u a critical person?
7:27 PM - Kev: i just realised you've been observing everything i do critically

7:27 PM - lau: everything everything or just this conversation everything?

7:27 PM - Kev: everything like ystd swimming
7:28 PM - Kev: been analysing my psyche
7:28 PM - Kev: what makes me tick

7:28 PM - lau: that was just me fuckin around
7:28 PM - lau: please i was exmaining your mind based on what video games you playu

7:28 PM - Kev: so when ur fucking around your critical?

7:29 PM - lau: no im only critical when i feel that theres something wrong with something and it can be really easily fixed
7:29 PM - lau: like i said yesterday was just me messing with your head

7:30 PM - Kev: so u were being a jackass after i invited u to go swimming?

7:30 PM - lau: how was i being a jackass we were laughing and kidding around
7:30 PM - lau: are you nuts

7:31 PM - Kev: i dont know man u said u were fucking around

7:31 PM - lau: that usually means that im not being serious
7:31 PM - lau: like "eh this game im just gonna fuck around"
7:32 PM - lau: thats probably the more widely accepted meaning of fuckin around
7:32 PM - lau: eh ive got dinner now
7:32 PM - lau: later

7:32 PM - Kev: cya

fascinating. i have to do a piece on this. next time though.

Lau-
"YOUR FF IS FUCKING TERRIBLE"

its completely ok

morning friends, hope youve had a fine fine week!

last night was pretty fun, had a blast meeting the whole bunch again. dinner at hob nob over at fat east shopping centre and cocktails at chips(good times, goooood times...) after. played drinking games and talked cock the whole night, a lot of messing around and joking. only it ended too early... it wouldve been awesome if we could have stayed and downed a few more jugs. other than that it was an enjoyable evening overall.

on a side note, i realised yesterday night that despite my best efforts to change for the better(because i DO know what my flaws are and, just like a kink, youve gotta work these things out.), i still remain quite sensitive to remarks and actions by others. i can easily get upset or harbor a grudge if i feel wronged by someone else, especially if its in front of other people. if i overreact, the situation could turn pretty volatile...



however, i thought about it and i realised you know, as long as no real harm is done, there is no intention to irritate, then its all good. these remarks are sort of like charissa jokes directed at jerome. thus, its good to take a leaf outta his book and treat it as dirt off the shoulder. why make a big deal outta it and so on and so forth.

anyway, heres some cutesy entertainment for you. i bet id get like at least a thousand views on youtube if i put these up...

saying good morning to mah dawg, i realised he looked a bit down in the dumps



i decided to take a closer look...

i was wondering why the sad face, and then i remembered it was his meal time and he was HUNGREH! sooooooo....



sorry if the sound got mussed up, i wasnt speaking loudly cause it was way too early. well, gonna go enjoy the rest of my sunday. stay safe yall!

Samuel-
"same shit, different smell."

sticky situations

hello folks, time at last for another post! its been more than a week since my last one, and it wasnt very substantial to say the least, so ill try to make this article a bit more beefy. you know, something to digest and take up maybe ten to fifteen minutes of your time, but hopefully and more importantly, to stir things up! it gets boring around here.

so first off id like to state something pertaining to the people i hang out with the most. you know who you are. no one really wants to come out and say it, or perhaps may not even notice it with their busy schedules, but our group outings are becoming less and less regular. drastically so. i suppose it began sometime last year, when we either had army or university to handle. but as time wore on it became extremely obvious that we, as a group(i avoid the word clique because its so derogatory.) only go out and meet each other only when the occasion calls for it.

im saying that unless its someones birthday, or a celebratory holiday, we almost never meet up any more. chinese new year? check. chris and ians birthday? check. new years? check(as a matter of fact, theres only that one drinking session at crown with the guys since the year began that was spontaneous.). AND SOME PEOPLE DONT EVEN TRY TO SHOW UP FOR THESE RARE MEETINGS. man, your not fucking obliged to. its not your duty. its ten percent courtesy and ninety percent cause you fucking want to isnt it.

so what does it say when its obvious you CAN come, even for half an hour, and you dont?

you dont give a rats ass.

.

im not gonna go on anymore, negativitys bad for my vibe.

so i was out with shun today to watch how to train a dragon(7.5/10, maybe even an 8.) and we talked about things like how we usually do. you know, catching up and discussing people in general. and we stumbled across the issue of relationships, and how ones life changes so humongously upon entering one. i wouldnt say the change is abrupt? because you definitely feel it coming as you progress towards romance. but the full swing of it knocks the breath outta you, especially if the relationship is MEANINGFUL and MOMENTOUS. it cant be passive nor precocious for you to feel the change. i can actually name a few people who i think fails to fulfill this prerequisite for a fulfilling bond.

but i wont. decency and all that.

moving on.

when two people get together, their paths intertwine. you begin living the others life. you more or less know what your partner is doing in the week ahead and you learn whats important to him or her. but more significantly, you now have a huge say in someone elses life. you are responsible for you AND your partner.

im not implying that you take charge and micro manage both of your daily decisions, but you must incorporate a separate lifestyle into your own. big goals are now shared between the two, and both must support and help each other to flourish. "ignorance is bliss" no longer applies to either one. a life changing choice cannot be made by YOURSELF any more, it must be shared with your partner. input and advice received is not from a friend, but someone who YOUR choice AFFECTS DIRECTLY. thus, its only fair they have a voice, and a large one, in the matter.

new school, new car, new apartment, new job. all these things once your own to pick are now going to DRASTICALLY hurt or help someone you care deeply about, and who cares deeply about you. goals which you pursue are now his or her goals as well, because they want to see you happy. sometimes even at their own cost. but thats what a relationships means, thats what loves about. sharing lives, and making it more wonderful with each others help.

well, thats it for today. i was gonna put up something written by jaesh, but he hasnt sent it to me yet. ill ask after him for it again soon, i plan to make it a centrepiece of discussion here along with something else im working on. till then, toodles.

Lau-
"bern, how the fuck did you hang from there?!?!"

people as awesome as me shouldnt be allowed to fall ill.

i am very very unwell. i have a feeling it has something to do with my diet, which almost TOTALLY excludes carbs. but im no doctor so im not going to speculate.

too tired and uncomfortable to post. instead, for entertainment purposes, heres bern asking me to join him for a game...

keep in this mind this is not how we actually talk to each other, its just him slinging around military communication jargon.

Monday, March 15, 2010
8:25 PM - Infected HamsteR PdM™: lau.. over.
8:25 PM - laushanlong: send over
8:26 PM - Infected HamsteR PdM™: roger that
8:26 PM - Infected HamsteR PdM™: game.. over.
8:27 PM - laushanlong: negative on your last
8:27 PM - laushanlong: people sick
8:27 PM - laushanlong: over
8:28 PM - Infected HamsteR PdM™: roger that.
8:28 PM - Infected HamsteR PdM™: take care.. over.
8:29 PM - laushanlong: mike tango
8:29 PM - Infected HamsteR PdM™: alpha omega.
8:29 PM - laushanlong: SMLJ?!?!?
8:29 PM - Infected HamsteR PdM™: HAHAHHAA

yes.

no further posts until i am feeling better.

Hyung Joon-
"theres noodles in here!"

more of that please.

its wednesday, am im STILL feeling super hyped up from the paramore concert. its like i can still see the band jumping around on stage and giving one helluva performance, with the whole crowd singing along to every song. i can still hear the awesome rifts and cheers when the band started on one of their signature songs. my god, i know ive said it a couple of times already, but really i cant think of any experience which even remotely compares to that awesome night.

righto enough of that.

i met with jaesh on monday night for a couple of beers at sixth avenue. we chatted for a bit, catching up with each other and discussing topics ranging from the indian communitys plight to my thoughts on singapores more murky side. it was very refreshing. when suddenly, he developed a craving for the wings at hooters. so i said heck im not doing anything tomorrow, lets go clarke quay.

polishing off our guinness, we hopped in a cab and made our way over. unfortunately, hooters had closed by then, so jaesh was going near mad from his insatiable urge for hooters wings. luckily, there was this really good kebab place around the corner where we chowed down on some hefty turkish delicacy. it was super tasty, although expensive at 8 dollars a piece. but whatever, it was worth it.

checked out the new burger king place that set up in clarke quay since we didnt have any further plans. it was cool, giving off a comfy, diner feel to it. definitely better than a macs or kfc. a good place to recuperate and get your bearings after some hard partying.

retired home soon after, he had a poker game to get to and i was actually still damn tired from the paramore concert.

alright, lets move on to the gist of todays post: trends and why i dislike them.

two parts to the following post. the first part will explain why i stay as far away as possible from facebook, twitter, myspace and various other social networking sites. the second will talk about why i purchased my new sony ericsson handphone instead of an iphone or blackberry, which seems to be all the rage these days.

starting off, i have a strict outlook regarding online social networking: that is it is negligible and redundant in a functional, outward society. notice i say ONLINE social networking. i have no qualms about meeting new people in clubs or at events, mainly because it INVOLVES MEETING PEOPLE. not "poking" them or "writing on their wall". come on, seriously. they say that with facebook you can keep track of current friends, renew old friendships and make new friends. complete bullshit!

theres a reason why friends who you lost contact with dont speak to you anymore. BECAUSE THEYVE GOT OTHER THINGS TO DO. dont kid yourself, youve already got your own people to hang out with, why try to say hi and pretend to care? all they currently mean to you is a smiling photo and an online, self authored description. enjoy who you have around you, and IF these old friends were meant to be close to you, life WILL bring them back. in the mean time, stop fucking around on a website trying to rejuvenate long dead relationships. waste of time.

then there are those who say oh my friends are going australia or uk, facebook will help me stay in touch with them.

uh huh.

i think such people are utter retards. honestly? thats how you intend to keep in touch with your close friends who are going overseas? is that how shallow your friendship is, such that a message or smiley face sent through AN INTERNET WEBSITE is favourable to a phone call or even skype? a true friend knows that BECAUSE of the distance in between friends, whats important is the human touch, or something as close to it as possible. hearing a friendly voice, even once a week for ten, or even FIVE minutes is SO uplifting! compare that to logging on and seeing a friggin message waiting for you. with winks and xoxos. common sense lah.

coming to the last point on online social networking which is in my opinion probably the MOST ridiculous: making new friends.

poking, winking, smileys and heys. thats how you start a "conversation" to add someone on your friends list and hopefully meet them in real life. absurd! if you want to meet new people, go out with friends more often so you can meet THEIR friends, walk up to that cutie at the bar or at a coffee joint and introduce yourself or just be friendly to the people you meet at school. THATS how you forge new friendships. and its the healthy way! if anything its clear that sites like facebook are DISCOURAGING active social activities, providing a cheap and unnatural method of commuting!

BLARGH!

now, lets continue shall we.

iphones are good because of the thousands of apps it has, making life on the go easier and more entertaining. definitely for people around my age, because it combines an ipod with a handphone for the sake of convenience.

blackberrys standout feature is the messenger service it provides, which allows you to freely text anyone else who owns a blackberry anywhere in the world at no cost. its made more for businessmen due to its services, but since so many youngsters are getting it nowadays, it seems prudent to purchase one so you can enjoy free messaging.

either phone is a great investment.

for me though, a phone is for three things: calls, messages and taking pictures. the last because your phone is always with you(unlike a camera) so you can always capture significant moments without hassle. thus, all the extra stuff that the iphone and blackberry provide are nifty, but ill stick to the simple stuff with my sony ericsson. internet should be kept to the computers, and music in the mp3s.

in conclusion, this is a strongly worded post because thats just how strong i feel about such matters. im not someone who likes to dwell, to ignore progress and cast disdain on others for moving ahead with times. i just think if somethings not broken, why try to fix it? we as people have been getting along and communicating just fine without online social networking. and someone can still keep in touch with friends with a rusty old nokia model perfectly.

thats all for now. tune in next time for a special piece im featuring, another reveal on singapore societys unnoticed and unwanted people.

Random Internet Commenter:
"First!"

paramore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOD EVENING READERS!!!

i am in such a good mood right now, because I FINALLY WATCHED PARAMORE LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THEY ARE SSSSSSSOOOOOO AWESOME!!!

yes the performance was a blast from start to finish! paramores stage presence is INSANE, so infectious, just makes you jump and go crazy. me n jerome had such a great time ROCKING OUT in the standing area, and we were lucky enough to run into jeromes pals which made the night even more chaotic/fun. here are some pictures i took...

hayley williams is so pretty(although you cant really tell from these photos...)!

and the videos! we were really really close to the speakers(which are scary huge) so the bass kinda whacked out the sound. but the experience was still captured in these two clips so enjoy!

the only exception

feeling sorry

i didnt get that much footage because i was worried with all the bumping and jostling my phone would be damaged, but no biggie, i was still there!

yup twas a super super night, far exceeding all my expectations. i am extremely sure theyll come back because it was obvious they were having as much fun as us, but next time ill get sitting seats and get good recordings of the whole extravaganza. i already experienced what it was like to be down in the standing area getting lost in the moment(and i MEAN getting lost), so in the future i wanna sit back and take it easy, just lap the whole thing up.

ok moving on!

i ran across something very interesting recently! it seems that singapore, with its clean and green image, has a somewhat undesirable side to it that it doesnt like to acknowledge. i found one such example the other day, completely by accident, but am determined to dig and uncover further. why? i guess its because this country IS my country, and since i am going to spend my life living here, i should know as much about it as possible, both the good and the bad.

in this instance, i shall highlight the existence of singaporean slums. didnt know they existed, did you?

firstly, what are slums? a slum is a run-down area of a city characterized by substandard housing and squalor and lacking in tenure security(thank you wikipedia). where in singapore can such a thing exist you wonder? well, have you been to east coast park recently?

tents filled with malay families dot the beach, with the occupants homeless and unemployed. they rely on the nearby washrooms for fresh water, and in bad weather risk the destruction of the closest thing they have to a home. singapore as a modernized and forward country DOES have slums, and they are obvious if you care to look. but isnt it puzzling the public is not aware of the deplorable conditions these unfortunate souls live with? why are they ignored, left alone and their plight unaddressed by the media?

food for thought eh.

moving on, jerome asked me an interesting question while on the ride home from the concert earlier tonight

"if you had one wish, what would it be?"

the answer is not as simple as many make it out to be. "being the smartest man alive", or "having infinite wealth" is all fine and good, but it made me think. usage of such a wish would be very revealing. on one hand, it can show us what we want most but will almost never achieve(wealth, money, power, fame etc. etc.), and on the other make us reflect back and think "if i could do this another way back then, would i?..." basically, to right a wrong.

or it could be im just thinking too much into it

anyway, to conclude, i got my new phone and its a sony erricson! the n86 stopped being produced, but really i have no complaints, the interface is so simple to use and managing my media is a breeze. so yay for me and 8 megapixel power!!!

here is another video post for you to enjoy, just because i caaaaannnnnnn



look forward to more colourful and insightful posts in the future my friends. good night!

Paramore-
"her prince finally came to save her"

demons at the door

ok, because i want pictures to liven up this blog, ill hold off any posts until i get my new 8 mega pixel(yeah you heard right. EIGHT) phone. i noticed the reason my last blog got so dreary and dry towards the end was due in part to lack of character. to keep this new blog interesting and refreshing, i feel its necessary to put up photographs of things i experience, making it easier for readers to associate themselves with the going ons. words can only describe so much right?

http://www.nokia-asia.com/find-products/products/nokia-n86-8mp

shes a beauty isnt she!

stay tuned, i should be getting this awesome, NON IPHONE NON BLACKBERRY NON MINDLESS TREND FOLLOWING, nokia handphone extremely soon!

Big Bob-
"aint nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! youre the ones thats gay for suckin my dick!"

conundrums of family and fortune

i had a discussion with my dad the other day in the car(seems like im doing a lot of talking in cars these days. maybe ill start taking the bus more often). it was a pretty livid conversation, and it being way too early in the morning didnt help much. the gist of it was how he blamed my sister smoking... on me. you know, because i was an "influence" and how she used me as an excuse to smoke.

"why if han can smoke i cannot?"

two things wrong with this picture. have you spotted it yet?

firstly, my sister is 18 years old, nineteen this year. she is an ADULT. adults do what they deem is right, whether good or bad. children cannot because they are too young, too innocent. like sponges, they absorb the ideas and actions floating around them because they dont know any better. thus, if my sister was a child, my actions would inadvertently affect hers due to me being an older brother and she looking to her elders for guidance.

however, as an adult, she already knows that smoking is wrong. her choice to smoke is not in anyway linked to mine. if i murder someone, would she follow? clearly not, because she understands that doing so will land her a lengthy jail term. all adults know that every wrong they commit will have consequences. thus, she knows that smoking will harm her health. its her decision to make, not mine. she isnt following me, shes walking her own path.

secondly, i smoke and my parents accept it(sort of) since i promised them i will stop before i go uni AND ive been pulling my own weight around here. i havnt asked them for money and have been living on my own wages for the past couple of years. of course living costs such as utilities and food they continue to provide because im more or less an investment for their future. by taking care of my basic needs they ensure i grow up to support them in turn.

it was at this point that my father dropped a bombshell on me.

"are you aware that your mom has been putting 300 dollars in your bank account every month since you ended jc?"

my god!

the next night, over dinner, i asked her about it and she confirmed what he said was true.

...

...

i have no words to describe how momentous this was for me.

see, i prided myself on being able to survive through working at uob and then with the pay from ns. all this time, i thought i was growing more and more independent, learning to slowly be weaned off my parents to eventually survive on my own. as far as im concerned, as long as you are working and drawing in a salary, money from your parents should be considered charity and refused based on principle. my stand regarding the matter is very clear and very forceful.

thus, you can imagine my frustration and indignation at this revelation. i explained to my mom that i DO appreciate what she did, because she was looking out for me and wanted me to enjoy myself. but i was extremely angry because i was not, as i had believed for MORE THAN TWO YEARS, been relying on myself for things i needed. i felt cheated of something, ROBBED even. which is curious considering i was RECEIVING money. i had to do something to prove my worth.
coming to the realisation that in order to attain peace of mind, i had to return the full seven thousand five hundred dollars(jesus christ thats a huge sum) my mom gave me, i concocted a plan that will mean huge sacrifice on my part. the bottom line is that the europe trip is cancelled, i need to find a job very soon and all luxuries will be put on hold indefinitely. that means no clubbing, public transport everywhere i go and eating at home more often.

is this how i want to spend my precious time before entering uni? no, but im doing it for the RIGHT REASONS. and thats what counts in life.

terrible.

well, its getting late... time for bed my friends. wish me luck. ive got a long, long way to returning that money.

lau-
"a rude awakening is made even worse when the day ahead isnt looking too good."

my strongest point

when looking at any one person, there are dozens of facets which determine his/her personality. we are all unique and different. in this sense, people are comparable to colours. theres red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. but in between there are hundreds upon hundreds of different shades. such is the same with men and women. we all have differences, whether minor or major, which makes us... us. but ive got a theory.

i believe that if you know someone very well, youd have no trouble describing them in one word. i mean, really, if a friend(like xin wei) asked you for your opinion on a close friend and to sum it up in a single word, you wouldnt actually have to think long before answering. because youve already subconsciously did it some time ago.

i know, i know. it would seem ludicrous to condense their whole being down into a single word. it would hardly do them justice. truly though, if you spend enough time with them it becomes crystal clear exactly what your opinion on said person is. their personality revolves around that one word! if i had to describe myself in a similar fashion... i would say i am Loyal. i pride myself on being intensely faithful to those around me who are excellent friends.

but this can sometimes backfire. you see, i KNOW im faithful, and can be trusted to help. because of this, i expect the SAME OF THE COMPANY I KEEP. ah. here i sound a bit fierce, a bit demanding. shouldnt i though? isnt that what true friendship means? i dont like to see it in terms of me investing time and effort into a friendship and expecting returns, because that seems shallow and immature. but i DO want to know that my friends appreciate me, and WILL stand up for me when the time comes. though perhaps not as intense as i would be in a given situation, because if everyone was as steadfastly loyal as i was, things would get quite heated quite often. but definitely on a level where i know they have my back, and i can lean on them for support unwavering.

take for instance if a group of friends i was with began back talking someone who i knew and counted among my companions. i would immediately and forcefully stop the conversation, insist that the topic be dropped because of ties to said friend and end with stating my concrete belief in my cohorts values. what i feel is an inappropriate response, bordering on downright betrayal, is to keep quiet and basically ignore people lambasting my close chum. that... can only be described as monstrous.

thats all i have on the subject for now.

some important events:

happy birthday kiat! the dinner buffet at mandarin oriental was magnificent and chatting with old friends was, as it always is, super(hello shi han, marcus koh). 21 at last.

fun and profitable chinese new year gambling at jeromes house on friday, where i lucked out and won 36 dollars during the last round when i volunteered to be banker and pulled a blackjack. lets do that again soon guys.

in closing, ill leave you all a quote which i think is very, very relevant to this post. and my feelings on friendship.

Jesus:
“Because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”

yay for regular posting!

"so, what do you think?"

'i dunno. i guess i never really thought about it.'

"im asking you now though, what do you think?"

'...

i think that sometimes problems are better off not being dealt with. it sounds bad, i know. i mean its admirable to face and confront problems directly rather than brush them off, definitely more logical that way... but what if its not the SMARTEST thing to do? im sure i can think of instances where, if we brought something up that should have stayed locked away, we could end up doing a lot more hurt than good.'

"i cant agree, i always believed that if theres a problem, you need to deal with it directly instead of tip toeing around it. it just leaves too much up in the air. what about the future? will the same issue come up again? you will always be burdened with that knowledge, that insistent worrying everytime you come close to the source of the problem. and if the worst does come to pass, wont it just cut even deeper than before, leaving regret at harbouring a problem?"

'maybe...

but dont you think that this view is unrealistic, simply because such a depth of pessimism is currently unfounded? from what i can tell, this self destructive opinion on the world would make the problem just grow infinitely larger, without you even realising it. in that way, confrontation seems probable, even inevitable. no one can deal with that kind of negativity and come out unscathed. its unheard of.

no, that perspective just reflects your attitude, my friend, towards the settlement of disputes. no offence intended at all, but it seems to me that this aggression stems from the fact that you need to settle things on your terms. if the problem were to ever turn out different from how you pictured resolving it, you would be in an even more undesirable, dare i say dire, state than before. of course, thats entirely understandable, give your nature.

but heres my stand: certain problems were not meant to be highlighted and overcame. such problems include miscommunication between friends, the drifting apart of friends and the questionable antics of those in your wider social circle(meant to encompass friends of your friends of your friends). its clear that currently, economical and spiritual factors are not brought up by me, simply because i do not yet have the experience to speak of them in confidence.'

"that cant possibly be right. i hate it when people say oh its just a miscommunication no ones at fault. someone is ALWAYS at fault, and if two people are involved, one is MORE at fault than the other! there is no exception. blame on faulty telecommunications and grammar is childish and redundant. admitting your problem and apologising is so much more responsible, preferable to smoothing over a mistake without any remorse."

'if friends were friends, it would be acceptable for a miscommunication to happen. not too often though. i mean, im sure no one ever wants complications in relationships, and its not as if there was a dedicated, masterfully engineered plan to inconvenience people around you. if anything, miscommunication is an often honest to god mistake. who needs to bring up inconsistencies between messages, as long as the group is there and together. why waste your time being sullen when you should be enjoying yourself? let the matter rest and move on.'

"ill agree with you on the drifting apart of friends though. who wants to sour the mood at a gathering of old acquaintances? even if i were having a quiet drink with one or two of them after the rest have left, i would certainly not make a big issue out of it. after all, i do have newer friends who i can truly relate to in my life now. im not exactly dieing because we dont hang out with each other anymore.

the only reason i would bring it up is if i wanted to be petty and be accusatory. which is hardly a good reason at all."

'and how about that friend, you know, the one y-'

"i dont want to talk about it. that is NOT in contention right now."

'very well. and hows about my third point?'

"well. if a social circle is wide, there will certainly be problems. im gonna ignore the people who just scowl and talk nonsense in the background because their below me. but for the people who directly get in my way... those who place obstacles between me and my objective... ah. those people are in for a huge, unpleasant surprise. i can make life terrible, ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE, for those who wrong me. eye for an eye. thats how they shall learn, and learn to never cross me again. all for the betterment of myself, and in extension, those who are closer to me in my social circle. those who matter to me."

'well put and well argued.

my friend, its clear that we are are at in impasse.'

"i would say so"

'to be honest, im glad this is so. if either one of us were to ever convince the other that he was entirely and unquestionably correct, we would be a terrible, imbalanced person.'

"we would certainly be indeed."

'same time next week then?'

"why not, not as if we are going anywhere."

'right. goodbye!'

"later."

lau:
'thats not the last room!!!"

be somewhere else pls

have a look at these l4d videos starring me and my buddies!

the first one you have to turn up the sound all the way though, cause im not using windows 7 so frapps doesnt work well with my mic and the game volume. the 2nd one is completely alright and super hilarious so have fun and enjoy!(p.s. these have been up for some time but i didnt actually do the embeds on the old blog.)






ok!

so anyway i had a drink with chris yesterday after dinner with my dads friends. i was in an ultra bad mood because in the car on the way over i had this huge fight with my mom and it ended with my yelling at her while i slammed the door and walked away. she started leaning on the horn, right next to the starbucks at coronation centre but i couldnt take it anymore so i just ignored it and left.

discussing the problem with chris, he managed to put in words what ive been struggling to define for the longest time(i.e. pretty much my whole life.)

"shes not altogether there."

DAMN RIGHT. THATS EXACTLY IT.

she can embarrass me and my sister in front of people, which kinda explains my sisters super cynical attitude.

for example, we were having a family dinner in my cousin wei weis house. i was in the middle, my mom on the left, wei wei next to her and his girlfriend sitting by him. we were talking and joking about how i, when i was but a young little rascal(no surprises there...), pulled all kinds of stupid crap and got into so much trouble.

when she all of a sudden turns to wei wei and jokingly, JOKINGLY, SAYS "EH REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND YOUR MOM USED TO PUNISH YOU BY TAKING THE NUT HAMMER AND SMACKING YOUR HAND HAHAHA". cue awkward silence, raised eyebrows and looks of utter disbelief.

wtf. his mom was sitting right across from us. the whole friggin family is at the table. and she makes this kinda comment. what did she expect?!?! all round laughter and wei joyfully reminiscing about how he used to get beat as a child??? it was terrible lah, how can you bring this up at all, and worse, ON CHINESE NEW YEAR IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.

also, she can REFUSE to see anyone else opinion other than her own.

the following is the instance where she pissed me off to high heaven.

my father had his friends and their kids over for dinner at my grandmas house. i was at the kids table(more young adults, but you know what im talking about.) with her sitting next to me again(youd think id learn my lesson by now...). after dinner the rest went to gamble and talk in the living room but i stayed with my mom, a friend called wayne and his dad. i continued drinking wine and chatting, and when waynes dad said lets go join them in the next room i was like ok fine. BEING CONSIDERATE, i brought the bottle of wine with me in case anyone was still drinking.

sitting down next to my great grandma, i poured myself another cup and joined in the conversation. next thing i know my mom comes up to me and says "eh know your limits dont drink so much". and im like ok why do you say that im not drunk and falling over the place, i DO know my limits. it would have ended there, but she walked past me THREE MORE TIMES SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING.

it began to get annoying so after i finished my wine i went to the kitchen and dropped the glass in the sink. she walks over with a glass of water and says "nah drink your getting drunk". i immediately replied "why on earth are you giving this to me? do i look drunk. how do you know im drunk? im completely fine."

at that point it was getting late and i had plans to meet chris so she gave me a lift over. but in the ride over, it got fucking ugly.

"eh you know you were so rude just now. why were you still drinking when everyone else stopped."

after a moments pause...

"im sorry, you thought that i was being rude? how on earth was i being rude?"

"you were still drinking when everyone stopped!"

"YES but how is that rude?!?!"

"you should know that theres a time and place to drink."

"yes and its chinese new year, a time for celebration/drinking. and not like i was going overboard, whats the deal here?"

"yeah everyone stopped drinking already why did you bring the bottle to the living room? just to drink yourself?"

notice the change in pace of the argument here. its slight, but still very obvious because she seems to be unrelenting in trying to find fault with what i did.

"what?!?! the bottle..!!? i was trying to be CONSIDERATE with that! i thought if they still wanted to drink then i bring the bottle over lah!"

"yeah but you should open your eyes and see no one is drinking."

"WE WERE IN THE KITCHEN THEY WERE IN THE LIVING ROOM HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?! BUY AND PUT AN EXTRA PAIR OF EYES IN POPOS LIVING ROOM?!?!"

it just went downhill from there.

SO YES AFTER MANY MANY YEARS AND DOZENS OF THESE KINDS OF INCIDENTS, IS IT NOT A SURPRISE THAT MY MOMS CHILDREN ARE EMBARRASSED, ASHAMED EVEN, OF THEIR MOM?

keep in mind, we have tried addressing the problem before. SO MANY TIMES. but she just doesnt get it, being NOT ALTOGETHER THERE.

ok, end of post. ive vented enough for one day, and dinners calling. later yall

chris:
"SHES NOT ALTOGETHER THERE"